Resolutions, Intentions and Commitments

In our culture, it’s a common idea to consider making one or more “New Year’s Resolutions.” People resolve – that is, (according to the Merriam Webster dictionary) they “make a firm decision” – to change something, to do something, or to not do something.

But how “firm” are people’s “firm decisions”?

The Power of Words and Their Meanings

I’ve often heard it said that the native Inuit Eskimo people have 18 or more words for snow. (Dr. Stuart Savory lists 18 here.). Of what importance is this in a discussion about New Year’s resolutions? It speaks to the power of discernment – the ability to make meaningful distinctions.

Resolutions

At the beginning of this article, I posed the question: How “firm” are people’s “firm decisions”?

The answer, of course, is that it differs from individual to individual.

A “firm decision” without a strategy to implement it and a support structure to ensure that it happens may be a decision, but has no firm foundation. So while the person making a resolution may, indeed, have good intent, the likelihood of keeping or accomplishing it is greatly diminished.

So I’m not a fan of using the word “resolution,” because it doesn’t have the power of fulfillment built into it.

Intentions

Similarly, I’m not a fan of using the word “intention” when it comes to being desirous of achieving a specific, measurable result.

The Merriam Webster dictionary defines an intention as “a determination to act in a certain way.”

As with making a “firm decision,” the strength of each person’s “determination” determines how far s/he gets towards achieving her/his desired outcome.

I’ve “intended” – thought or felt that it might be a good idea; hoped; or dreamed – many wonderful things in my life. Just yesterday I intended to take the garbage out. But I got caught up in other activities, and no amount of my “intention” got that garbage into the pick-up bin. “Intentions” that aren’t coupled with action are just “good ideas” without any real-world results.

Marcia Wieder, “America’s Dream Coach” writes that “A working definition for intention is: “to have in mind a purpose or plan, to direct the mind, to aim.” She goes on to say: “Lacking intention, we sometimes stray without meaning or direction.”, with which I agree.

Marcia goes on to write: “But with [intention], all the forces of the universe can align to make even the most impossible, possible.” If only it was that easy. Just “set an intention” and poof, you get your wish – or at least anything becomes more possible than if you don’t set an intention.

Dr. Wayne Dyer titled a book and his PBS television special “The Power of Intention.” In it, he redefines “intention” (in the spirit of Carlos Castenada) as “something that I connect to” as opposed to “something that I do.” In this sense, one can’t “have” an intention, or “set” one – you can only “tap into” some non-specific, invisible force that already has your best interest and outcome in mind.

I DO, indeed, believe that there are forces in the universe into which we can tap and that expand our personal potential. But I don’t feel that using a word that means one thing to describe another makes it any easier to have the kind of discernment that allows people to get the powerful results they seek. If your unconscious is relating to “intention” as something you wish for or declare or must do, it will take a lot for your conscious mind to overcome that definition even if  you have the best of intentions to think of “intention” as a force you connect with.

Commitments

Of all of the possible words associated with future outcomes – whether of our own making by our own efforts or brought into being as a result of aligning ourselves with other universal forces – the only one that I feel has the greatest meaning is “commitment.”

The Random House dictionary defines “commitment” as “a pledge or promise; obligation.”

When you promise, when you make a pledge to yourself; when you obligate yourself, you form an unbreakable pact to bring to fulfillment what you have declared.

When you commit, you’re indicating that you’re willing to be unstoppable in your quest. You’re saying, in essence, that you’ll do whatever it takes (legally, morally and ethically, of course) to keep your word and fulfill your obligation. You’re indicating that you’re going to make a way, find a way, or be shown a way to get from where you are to what you have committed to.

Although the only person you can make a commitment to is yourself, when two or more people declare their commitments to one another, this shared, mutual commitment helps to increase the likelihood of the desired outcome. Likewise, you can declare to others a personal commitment you’ve made to yourself, as a a way to ask them to help you hold yourself accountable to keeping your word.

Do These Distinctions Matter?

I’ve observed that the distinctions you make have power in your life. And that the more discernment you have, the more precise your understandings and your outcomes.

So for me, the distinctions between resolutions, intentions and commitments are clear, and powerful.

For that reason, I choose my words all too carefully. When I don’t want to be held accountable (to myself, or to others) for a specific outcome, and want to have the greatest flexibility, I indicate that I “intend” to do something. I don’t make resolutions of any sort, or at any time. I find them unnecessary, because when I wish to hold myself fully accountable – and have others do the same – I make a full-on commitment.

Perhaps I’m nitpicking. But I’ve noticed time and again that the words you use and the unconscious meaning you place on them has a direct relationship to how you perceive and relate to the world, and yourself and others in it.

I encourage you to consider this, and examine the words you use, and the conscious AND sub-conscious meanings you place on them, to determine what distinctions you feel are important. Then begin using your words more carefully, in harmony with what you truly desire to communicate to yourself and to others.

What Do You Think?

I love how controversial this topic seems to be when I bring it up. Am I making a mountain out of a molehill, and making this out to be more important and influential than it really is?

Do you have an experience of having someone give you the impression (by what s/he said) that something was going to happen, only to discover that they meant something different than you perceived? Have you ever tried to hold someone accountable for their “intention” only to find out that they ONLY intended to do something, and never really had any true desire to do what they indicated they intended?

Have you ever made a New Year’s Resolution or “set an intention,” only to find that it didn’t work out the way your desired – but you weren’t sure what went wrong, because you were so resolved or had the best of intentions?

Please let me know what you think and feel about the meaning of these words, and the value of these distinctions by leaving your comment. I look forward to reading them!

Jay Aaron
Strategic Visionary / Visionary Strategist
Follow me on Twitter: http://Twitter.com/newthoughts

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